24 April 2011

Tit Street, Tit Bridge

So I came across this street and bridge on one of my usual jaunts around Venice. Having learnt all the important Italian words and therefore knowing what it translates to, I thought I'd wikipedia it. Turns out that prostitutes used to hang their jubblies over the bridge to entice customers and, apparently, the state thought it might 'cure' homosexuality........Ah Venice.




[edit]
It turns out my first Tit Bridge find was a bridge of tits but not actually the real Tit Bridge where the prostitutes paddled their hardware and tried to convert those in the closet....But THIS is the real Tit Bridge! And not just one tit but lots of tits. A Bridge of Breasts.



This sign is next to the Bridge of Breasts. Apparently, a palazzo owned by the government called Ca' Rampani housed all the ladies of the night. Only Venetians would have a giant whore house run by the state.


So after a while the prozzies were known as carampane after the palazzo. A few centuries later, young prozzies were allowed out in the streets to get some action. But all the old, rancid, riddled prozzies were locked in the state whore house because the very sight of them in public was offending the residents of Venice. Mega lolz.

A lot of fun was had coming up with puns whilst on the bridge. The only one I can remember was very obvious and childish. I wonder how often clients came onto the bridge, as it were. Hehehe.

20 April 2011

A Saunter

This wasn't so much a saunter as a solitary odyssey. Lovely colourful photos. Yey.

 

19 April 2011

Ca' D'Oro: I love goooooooold

Yet another place where you aren't allowed to take photos and where I have shamelessly flouted the rules. This is a habit that I must break. Only once I've taken photos of everything in Venice.

Facade of Ca D'Oro


Possibly the ugliest artistic representation of baby Jesus I've ever seen



18 April 2011

San Zanipolo

Venetians, as a race, are inherently lazy. This is mostly demonstrated in their speaking and writing, especially with place names. For example, San Zanipolo started off life as Campo di Santi Giovanni e Paolo. They call this 'Venetian Dialect'. Whatever trevor.
Nevertheless, one of the most serenly and discreetly beautiful churches I've ever seen in my life.




This happens to be the Venetian hospital. Typical ostentatious Venetians.

15 April 2011

È GRATIS (stupida ragazza inglese)

So after 10 minutes of looking quite baffled and English, I finally understood that La Galleria Dell'Accademia and Palazzo Grimani were both free entry. A cultural week or something. And you were allowed to take photos, out in the open, without condemnation. Bonus.

I have taken a lot of photos.

Accademia





 Palazzo Grimani



12 April 2011

I'm on a boat and...

Beautiful hot day and beautiful sights = happy me and a classic meander through the streets followed by a hop on the vaporetto to San Giorgio Maggiore to go up the campanile and see the best view of Venice. Lovely. Good times. 
Though now believe I am experiencing the onset of sunstroke....

Views from vaporetto of Zattere

VENICE!
Evening view from Rialto Bridge
This video is the song that plays in my head on repeat whenever I get on a vaporetto. My muffled chuckles always attract a few puzzled and/or fearful looks. Listen and love.

8 April 2011

T.G.I. Friday

On my travels around Venice, I have stumbled across some very strange shops. They seem to do strange shops well. Here is a rundown of the best so far....

1) The Book Bazaar - Paper, postcards, books and cats stacked metres high in baths and gondolas. The owner sits with his hands resting on his enormous tummy whilst flicking fag ash all over the books. He seems to have taken to me and gave me a private viewing of a very special 3D book - which I have since shown to Kirsten and Vishna. To compliment this private viewing, he offered me 50 expired condoms, "Take what you need lady." I was clearly giving off the wrong vibe that day.



The 3D penis book.........WHY?????????????
2) The Tranny Paedo Shop - Still not quite sure what this shop really sells, or if it has any customers, but its displays and its mannequins are fab if not a little disturbing...On the top, the models look like either members of a religious sect or the huns. On the bottom, they have beautiful shapely calves and phenomenal pink stilettos. The window displays have naked peachy bottomed dummies with unsettlingly realistic willies and babies in boxes.

A picture Picasso in his (not so) tighty whiteys next to tranvestite hun
Look past me - a naked beefcake and four babies

3) The Cheap Wine Shop - Run by a hilariously flirty old man. Delizioso vino, molto economico. A litre of wine costs no more than €2.10. Happy days!

7 April 2011

San Marco: It's blinging pimptastic

The basilica of San Marco could not be more gold if it tried. Every inch of wall is covered in the stuff. And everywhere that isn't covered in gold is covered in signs saying 'Do NOT take photos, I repeat, DO NOT take photos.' 
Of course, I was taking photos. This caused a lot of controversy within the tourist community joining us on our church jaunt. I was berated by everyone except the Italian guards watching out for tourists taking photos. But, as I repeatedly argued in my head, I didn't use flash so there is no harm. Get over it.
The most memorable confrontation was with a young chap around twelve on a school trip. I was taking a picture of the floor – yes, the inanimate marble floor – and this little kid sneered, ‘You’re not allowed to take pictures’. I replied politely and calmly, ‘I know.’ He looked at me like I was the devil incarnate and snarled, ‘And you don’t CARE???!!!????'
All for taking a photo of the marble floor. Kids these days.


Mosaics outside the church entrance
Wall to wall bling

Kirsten and me
San Marco campanile

5 April 2011

An Amble

There is nothing I am enjoying more than putting my incredible and practical waterproof map back in my bag and just wondering around the streets of Venice in the sunshine with my camera bouncing off my gelato rounded pot belly. Every street or piazza has something interesting to see.
Classes are not going very well so far. I find them incredibly dull, I'm not a very good student and my brain is prefering to repeat my pig shit French instead of absorbing Italian - very inconvenient. I'm culturally confused. But very well fed by the gelato shop five seconds from my house. Creme caramel ice cream today, yum yum yum.
These are results of my meander back from class.

Campo Santa Margarita - where I study every day from 9am to 1pm...ooooffff.
Fondamenta Gherardini leading to Campo S. Barnaba
View from Ponte Dell'Accademia 
Wonky campanile!
The view from my room

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