Red velvet heaven and hell

The time has come for me to depart the monotonous yet comfortable 9 to 5 job I have occupied for the last 6 months. I will definitely be sad to leave my colleagues but ecstatic to leave the bizarre customers DUO seems to attract.
In celebration and commiseration, I decided to make all the girls in the office a single, scrumptious cupcake. Not only a cupcake but my favourite kind of cupcake. Red Velvet with cream cheese icing. Holy Moses, they are like heaven in a mouthful.

HOWEVER. Because nothing that I ever do stays perfect for very long, in true and staggering me fashion, whilst arranging them artfully in a box in order to bring them safely into work.....

I KNOCKED THEM ALL ON THE FLOOR!!!!!! COMPLETED SQUISHED!!!!! BLOODY TYPICAL!!!!!!!!!!!!

An attempt at repairing the damage was tried and I still have all 20 cakes, but the shine has been taken off the experience. I really thought that at 22, clumsiness would no longer be an issue and I would be able to control my various appendages but it seems I am cursed with being entirely uncoordinated for life.

Still, at least they taste nice.

the cupcakes...(about 24)
300g caster sugar
125g unsalted butter
2 eggs
60g cocoa powder
Tsp vanilla essence
300g self-raising flour (or 300g plain flour and 1.5 tsp baking powder)
240ml butter milk (can put one tbsp of cider or white wine vinegar or lemon juice in 240ml milk)
As much red food colouring as you want

the icing...
500g icing sugar
200g unsalted softened butter
75g - 100g soft cream cheese (to taste)
Drop or two of vanilla essence.

1. Fill two 12 holed muffin tins with cupcake cases. Preheat oven at 170℃. 
2. Cream sugar and butter until pale, soft and fluffy. Add eggs slowly. Add cocoa powder, vanilla essence and red food colouring making sure you combined the food colouring really well. Alternately fold in the buttermilk and flour until well combined. Don't mix batter too much as it will loose it's lightness. Fill cases three-quarters to give them room to rise and cook for about 25 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean.
3. Beat the icing sugar into the butter until really fluffy then add cream cheese until icing is smooth and stiff. Pipe it onto the cakes or use a spatular.

red and risen - perfect!

piped cream cheese icing with edible glitter and red lips

Be my Valentine?

Super lame title and probably a super lame photo, but I liked it so I don't care!