Exceedingly good

As a massive fan of the cherry bakewell tart, I am always open to any variations. For example, I have a barman friend who makes a blinding Bakewell Sour cocktail. It is essentially a pimped up Amaretto Sour but with some mental cherry brandy or something. Exceedingly well pimped.

So I had a go at my own baking variation of the Bakewell Sour cocktail. It took me a while to decide exactly how to make it taste like the cocktail but make it tasty as a cupcake. But OMG FML, the result was blinding. And nothing went wrong FOR ONCE!

Cherry bakewell cupcakes...

100g caster sugar
50g muscovado sugar
150g unsalted butter
2 large eggs
75g ground almonds
1tsp almond essence
100g self raising flour
1-2 tbls milk
1/2 tsp baking powder
Cherry or raspberry jam

Icing sugar
Lime/lemon juice

1. Preheat the oven to 180°C / 350F / Gas 4. Line a 12-hole muffin tin with paper cases.
2. Cream together the butter and sugar until pale and fluffy. Add the eggs slowly, then the remaining ingredients and mix until well combined. Only add enough milk to make the mixture less stiff.
3. Spoon the mixture into the cases and bake for 15-20 minutes, or until risen and golden-brown and a skewer inserted into the middle comes out clean.
4. Using a knife or an apple corer, carefully remove the middle of the cupcakes while they are still relatively warm. Fill the holes with the jam. You can slightly water down the jam with boiling water if needs be.
5. For the icing, mix the icing sugar and lemon juice together in a bowl until smooth and really thick. Carefully spoon the icing onto the top of each cake until the icing reaches the sides of the cake case and top with a glacé cherry.

Didn't they bake well (lol)? They baked exceedingly well! Apparently people felt like they had exploded with orgasmic joy after tasting them.
Shit photos taken with phone PS. Need to take better photos of my baking.

Golden Post Birthday Anniversary

This is my 50th post!! I didn't think I would carry on this blog much longer than 3 posts - I always loose interest in things quite quickly - but I'm a little bit obsessed.

I want to use this special celebration post to wish a happy birthday to my brilliant brother and many happy returns. I hope you've had a lovely day. See you at Christmas!!! Lots and lots of love x x x x x



Here's to the next 50.

Brave Tart

This weekend, I went back to my home countryside for a mini-break. I didn't necessarily need a break from London but I had three days off work and thought family, friends and fresh air would be quite a nice way to pass the time.

How wrong I was.

This morning, in the beautiful brisk Autumn sunshine, I took our dog Mabel for a long walk in the surrounding fields. I was completely alone on the track so was merrily and loudly singing Beyoncé's greatest hits. As I belted out a disgraceful version of Love On Top - complete with key changes - I passed a herd of cows frolicking in the stream. So startled they were by my screeching, they started on me and Mabel just like the rioters started on Footlocker. I am born and bred in the countryside and very used to farmyard animals, but a herd of twenty cows galloping towards you is quite disconcerting. So I ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction and vaulted the stile into the next field.

However, I vaulted into a large bush of stinging nettles. And running in my mangy old wellies sliced my feet so badly I had to remove them, blood-stained, and walk home disgruntled through the mud with bare feet and stinging legs.

To cheer myself up, I decided to make my extra tasty treacle tart to be the pudding of the 'welcome home' sunday roast my parents are making me.

alright treacle tart...
Packet of pre-made sweet pastry
175g brown bread, crusts removed, roughly torn
90g unsalted Jersey butter
2 large eggs
70ml double cream
1 tbls salt (seems like a lot but balances sweetness of golden syrup)

720g golden syrup

1. Preheat the oven to 180°c.
2. Roll the pastry dough out to 2mm thick and line a tart ring. Cover with greaseproof paper and fill with baking beans and blind bake in the oven for 15 minutes, or until the pastry is golden-brown, removing the beans during the last five minutes of baking. It needs to have "a good bake" otherwise you'll get a "soggy bottom" as they say in Great British Bake Off.
3. Turn the oven temperature down to 160°c.
4. For the treacle tart filling, place the bread into a food processor and pulse to fine breadcrumbs. Heat the butter and golden syrup in a pan. Mix the eggs, cream, and salt in a bowl until well combined. Pour the golden syrup mixture into the egg and cream mixture, then stir in the breadcrumbs.
5. Pour the mixture into the cooked tart case, then bake in the oven for 25 minutes. Turn the oven temperature down to 140°c and bake for a further 20 minutes, or until the tart is golden-brown and bubbling, then remove from the oven and allow to cool before turning out.
6. Serve with raspberries and cream. 

Fuck yes.

Baking = Happiness

I've only been living in London for a month and I have already happened upon another baking fanatic. Before you ask, I haven't stalked and hunted down Rob the Fit Baker from Great British Bake Off. And my new baking friend is not a figment of my imagination.

No, my new baking friend (NBF for short) is lovely and she has invited me to join her Lurpak baking club. I am like a fat kid at Christmas with a double chocolate fudge cake shaped present. From what I can gather, everyone in the club (or those who can be bothered) has to bake each week and then you post photos and recipes and everyone in the club 'rates the bake.'

[An aside: When you log into the Lurpak Bake Club website it says two highly cringe-worthy things:
1) The first rule about bake club is....tell everyone about bake club.
2) If you've been here before, you know how to get cracking.
i.e. Baking puns for full retards.]

The first offering was so impressive it had to be shared. So here is my NBF's frangipane tarts with raspberry jam. Yum.

frangipane tarts...

100g Ground Almonds

100g Butter

90g Golden Caster Sugar

1tbsp Vanilla Extract

1/2 zest Orange

1 egg

1/2 250g Jar of good quality raspberry/strawberry jam

Shortcrust pastry cases

1. Preheat oven to 190°c.
2. Crack egg into mixing bowl then add almonds, sugar, butter, vanilla extract, orange zest. Mix together with wooden spoon. Spoon a SMALL teaspoon of jam into each case then on top spoon a HEAPED spoon of frangipane mixture
3. Cook for 18 mins until golden around the edges.

Don't they look completely delicious? I'm totally like Homer Simpson when he peels the Venus de Milo gummy bear off that girls bum.

Domestic Goddess

My news: I've moved to a beautiful flat in south-west London, I have a job in Covent Garden, I'm living with some university friends and I have Sky TV with plenty of Beyonce related videos recorded i.e. brilliant times are being had. My only complaint is that I have quite sore feet and calves. And London is making me spotty (urgh).... 

Today is my first proper day off and the only thing I wanted to do was bake. So I made banana and blueberry muffins with cream cheese icing and then some of my classic red velvet jobbies! Perfect housemate, perfect colleague? Naturally.

Of course, my ineptitude at life in general got in the way and I forgot to put the olive oil in the banana muffins so they've all stuck to the cases. Moron. And the food colouring made the red velvet cupcakes orange. AND I put too much cream cheese in the icing so it went sloppy. Lame.

banana muffins...
300g self-raising flour
1 tsp bicarbonate of soda
100g light muscovado sugar
50g porridge oats
2 medium really ripe bananas
250ml plain yoghurt
5 tbsp olive oil
2 eggs
2 tsps cinnamon
150g frozen blueberries

1. Preheat oven at 170℃.
2. Mix the flour, bicarb, sugar and oats in a large bowl. Make a well in the centre. In a separate bowl, mash the bananas until nearly smooth. Stir the yoghurt, olive oil, cinnamon and eggs into the mashed banana until evenly combined. Pour the liquid mixture into the well and stir gently with a wooden spoon. It'll look lumpy but DON'T OVERMIX!!!! Tip in the blueberries and give it a little stirring. 
3. Divide the mix between the muffin cases - they will be quite full. 
4. Bake for 18-20 mins until risen and dark golden. Cool for 5 mins in the tray before lifting out onto a rack to cool completely.
5. Classic cream cheese icing (recipe below) on top if you fancy it but not neccessary. They are mouth-watering without.

red velvet cupcakes...

I've slightly adjusted my recipe, I reckon they are so much nicer this way.

60g unsalted butter
150g caster sugar
1 egg
25g cocoa powder
Red food colouring

Tsp vanilla extract
120ml plain yoghurt
150g plain flour
½tsp salt
½tsp bicarbonate of soda
1½tsp white wine vinegar

cream cheese icing...

I've changed my cream cheese / butter ratio. Bloody delish now.

300g icing sugar
50g unsalted butter
125g cold cream cheese
Tsp vanilla essence

1. Preheat the oven to 170°C.
2. Cream sugar and butter until pale, soft and fluffy. Add egg slowly. In a separate bowl, mix together the cocoa powder, red food colouring and vanilla extract. Add this to the butter mixture, it makes the colour really even. Add half the yoghurt and stir until well mixed, then add half the flour, and beat until everything is well incorporated. Repeat until all the yoghurt and flour are incorporated and the mixture is smooth then add the salt and bicarbonate of soda, then the vinegar. Don't mix batter too much as it will loose it's lightness.
3.  Fill cases three-quarters to give them room to rise and cook for about 25 minutes or until a skewer comes out clean.
4. For the cream cheese frosting beat the icing sugar and butter together then add the cream cheese in one go and beat until it is completely incorporated and it's light and fluffy but stiff. Only ice the cakes when they are completely cool.