I'm on a boat and...

Beautiful hot day and beautiful sights = happy me and a classic meander through the streets followed by a hop on the vaporetto to San Giorgio Maggiore to go up the campanile and see the best view of Venice. Lovely. Good times. 

Though now believe I am experiencing the onset of sunstroke....

Views from vaporetto of Zattere

VENICE!

Evening view from Rialto Bridge

This video is the song that plays in my head on repeat whenever I get on a vaporetto. My muffled chuckles always attract a few puzzled and/or fearful looks. Listen and love.

T.G.I. Friday

On my travels around Venice, I have stumbled across some very strange shops. They seem to do strange shops well. Here is a rundown of the best so far....

1) The Book Bazaar - Paper, postcards, books and cats stacked metres high in baths and gondolas. The owner sits with his hands resting on his enormous tummy whilst flicking fag ash all over the books. He seems to have taken to me and gave me a private viewing of a very special 3D book - which I have since shown to Kirsten and Vishna. To compliment this private viewing, he offered me 50 expired condoms, "Take what you need lady." I was clearly giving off the wrong vibe that day.

The 3D penis book.........WHY?????????????

2) The Tranny Paedo Shop - Still not quite sure what this shop really sells, or if it has any customers, but its displays and its mannequins are fab if not a little disturbing...On the top, the models look like either members of a religious sect or the huns. On the bottom, they have beautiful shapely calves and phenomenal pink stilettos. The window displays have naked peachy bottomed dummies with unsettlingly realistic willies and babies in boxes.

A picture Picasso in his (not so) tighty whiteys next to tranvestite hun

Look past me - a naked beefcake and four babies

3) The Cheap Wine Shop - Run by a hilariously flirty old man. Delizioso vino, molto economico. A litre of wine costs no more than €2.10. Happy days!

San Marco: It's blinging pimptastic

The basilica of San Marco could not be more gold if it tried. Every inch of wall is covered in the stuff. And everywhere that isn't covered in gold is covered in signs saying 'Do NOT take photos, I repeat, DO NOT take photos.' 
Of course, I was taking photos. This caused a lot of controversy within the tourist community joining us on our church jaunt. I was berated by everyone except the Italian guards watching out for tourists taking photos. But, as I repeatedly argued in my head, I didn't use flash so there is no harm. Get over it.
The most memorable confrontation was with a young chap around twelve on a school trip. I was taking a picture of the floor – yes, the inanimate marble floor – and this little kid sneered, ‘You’re not allowed to take pictures’. I replied politely and calmly, ‘I know.’ He looked at me like I was the devil incarnate and snarled, ‘And you don’t CARE???!!!????'
All for taking a photo of the marble floor. Kids these days.

Mosaics outside the church entrance

Wall to wall bling

Kirsten and me

San Marco campanile

An Amble

There is nothing I am enjoying more than putting my incredible and practical waterproof map back in my bag and just wondering around the streets of Venice in the sunshine with my camera bouncing off my gelato rounded pot belly. Every street or piazza has something interesting to see.
Classes are not going very well so far. I find them incredibly dull, I'm not a very good student and my brain is prefering to repeat my pig shit French instead of absorbing Italian - very inconvenient. I'm culturally confused. But very well fed by the gelato shop five seconds from my house. Creme caramel ice cream today, yum yum yum.
These are results of my meander back from class.

Campo Santa Margarita - where I study every day from 9am to 1pm...ooooffff.

Fondamenta Gherardini leading to Campo S. Barnaba

View from Ponte Dell'Accademia 

Wonky campanile!

The view from my room

Wigtastic

Some Carnevale wigs found in the back of a cupboard on Grace's leaving dinner. I think the photos speak for themselves.

Flora rocking C18th fashion

God damn hot stuff

Torcello and Murano

Torcello was a peculiar island. It looks like the remains of a nuclear disaster. There were 20,000 residents once upon a time. Now there are 20. And I think 15 of those residents are sheep. Perhaps Venice's retirement home?
Some photos of Santa Maria Assunta's three extraordinary C12th mosaics:

Note the very bizarre pregnant angel at the top with backwards legs...

Fab blue devil bloke. Skulls with snakes in their eyes.

I said: 'Look at this funny little man with a face for a willy!' I was corrected. He is holding his skin.

Murano was the most disappointing of the three islands. The glass-bowers of Murano were famed for their amazing intricate work and people flocked from distant countries to get their hands on some Murano glass. Now they make things like this....

A little blue man light-shade. Lovely.

Yes, this is a miniature glass Pluto.... 

Just hideous.

Burano: Would you look at that?! Just look at that!

As random events go in my life, the meeting of the Guggenheim Girls is up there probably at the top of my list. Dazed and confused, tired and overwhelmed, and on my way from the airport to my new house, I was approached on the vaporetto (water bus) by Grace and Aurica. The rest is history!
Photos from our day trip to Burano, the most ridiculously colourful island I have ever seen in my life and now one of my all time favourite places in the world! Goodtimes.

The very wonky campanile of San Martino

Burano is famous for it's lace making

Dozing in the sunshine

Venezia: The Beginnings

Having become very bored with the monotony of my life in England, I decided on a whim in January to go and live somewhere - ANYWHERE - else for a few months. Yesterday I left Gatwick airport and arrived safely in Venice! I will be here for three months, learning Italian and generally (hopefully) enjoying myself in the sunshine. 
I am staying in a little flat with a lovely Venetian family next to San Marco, the heart of Venice. Laura, the landlady is quiet but friendly, and speaks barely a word of English. Wonderful. My room is dolls house miniature including the bed which I am almost certain must have once been a cot.....
I have come to the conclusion that, after the disastrous Italian lesson I had today, I will spend the time I have dozing through my classes and wandering aimlessly through the streets drawing and photographing all the beautiful sights, trying my best to look attractive, cool and wistful. This is proving quite difficult so far with the humidity, my fringe has gone mental, it's now a ridiculous ball of ringlets bouncing off my forehead....

Ciao for now! x

Generic Venetian Landscape

Thank You Purple Ronnie

I ♥ Edward Monkton